We All Need A Hero: A Plea to the General Public

If you’re like me, then you know Soulja Boy. You’ve known Soulja Boy for a long time and you never really got the point of his music career. His songs don’t have a clear purpose. He isn’t Kendrick Lamar, he’s not out here rapping for the community. You could even argue that Soulja Boy doesn’t even rap but instead rhythmically speaks onto a beat. If you’re like me, then you’ve never appreciated Soulja Boy. You never got it.

Until now.

There’s something about the atmosphere of stress and desperation that invades a college campus during finals week that forces you to value the nonsensical. It forces you to value the simple things like, perhaps, putting your swag on. All those songs that played on the airways in back in middle school suddenly have a new purpose. If you need a hero I implore you to look to Soulja Boy.

Words of guidance from Soulja Boy that have increased relevance today:

  • “Ayyyy Soulja Boy Chillin Dog I Just Got My Report Card Looked At It All F’s Took It To Tha Teacher Desk (Throw Some D’s On That On That)” -Report Card
    • Soulja Boy teaches the art of begging the professor. He’s a hero.
  • “When a [expletive] be in your face, just on your nerves, talkin shit, and you just don’t wanna hear it, just be like “yahhh, trick, yahhh!””- Yahhh!
    • Soulja Boy teaches how to cope with annoying people for when the smile and nod fails to work. He’s a hero
  • “This right here is my swag. All the girls are on me, damn. Everybody pay attention. This right here is my pretty boy swag (ayeee)”- Pretty Boy Swag
    • In this song Soulja Boy teaches the art of self confidence, which is essential to survival during finals. He’s a hero.
  • [I-15:] She got to step like this to be a Soulja Girl. She got to step like that to be a Soulja Girl. Girl let me see you. [Soulja Boy:] YOU, YOU!”- Soulja Girl ft. I-15
    • This song is my personal favorite because it gives me an alternative to college. Yes I plan wholeheartedly to graduate and get these degrees, however if it ever at all becomes all too much Soulja Boy was kind enough to break down the steps to an alternative lifestyle: Soulja Girl Living. Give him an award, he’s a hero.

You don’t have to like Soulja Boy (please acknowledge though that everything he touches is fire!) but it is important to have something that will surely bring happiness to your day 100% of the time. These silly things are really important during stressful times and if you don’t already have a method to destress, pick Soulja Boy. He’s logical. He’s fun. And most importantly he’s a hero.

Happy End of the Semester Everyone!

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